Poem: Waiting to Breathe
Et inclinato capite tradidit spiritum.
This piece is part of The Choc Board, a 30-day writing challenge from my friend Chocolate Knox. You can follow Chocolate Knox’s Diagnostic Doxology on Substack, as well as his profile on X.
Immediately below you will see an audio post, meant to be enjoyed after you read the poem. Unlike most of what I write, this poem is more for the page than the ear. You will also note that the audio is eighteen minutes long, as I discuss the poem a bit, and spend time translating and unpacking the Latin used throughout the poem.
This is a poem about the difficulty and hope of the Christian life, the long obedience in one direction. It is, I hope, both melancholy and optimistic; it is, I hope, resolute and resolved.
Waiting to Breathe Et inclinato capite tradidit spiritum. I. How is a verb defined if not by vigorous action? Poetry is imitation but Imitation is not poetry. The voice said, Cry. What shall I cry? All flesh is grass. The grass withereth, The flower fadeth, because the spirit bloweth upon it. The people is grass. II. A song about Christendom in original hexameter! On the empty platter the executioner waiting, the long withdrawing roar. When you want yes and no, I say perhaps. When you want to see, I offer a glimpse. When you want a wolf, I am a brother. Homer takes up his lyre. We hear the ring ting ting of swordplay, The knight errant makes no mistake. III. The women are healed, as in the time Of the prophets. Two sets are healed, The deaf-mute is blind, The deaf-dumb is blind. Is BarTimaeus a fool for crying Out to the heir of David in a crowd? O Jesu fili David, miserere mei. The wine is wine, The bread savors once more. There is yet much pain to go over, I shall punish the world for their evil, I will make a man more precious than fine gold. Satyrs shall dance there, Dragons in the pleasant palaces. The beauty of the Chaldee’s excellencies Shall be as when Sodom and Gomorrah were overthrown. As I have purposed, so shall it stand. Who shall turn it back? IV. The burden of the desert of the sea, The burden of the valley of vision: Thy rulers are bound by the archers. A burden of the earth, A curse upon the celestials. The blast of the terrible ones As a storm against a wall. Composting empires make the best soil. Oh Mars Silvanus, promote the fertility of our cattle. Let the blood of horses and defeated enemies Stave off the wolves. V. Was the baptism of John from heaven or men? Prophet, priest, king. Liar, lunatic, lord. Et quae sunt Dei, Deo. My beloved hath a vine in a very fruitful hill. Why hast thou then broken down her hedges, So that all they which pass by the way do pluck her? The donkeys have spoken. The donkeys said it, Man mistakes man for a wolf. Dionysus comes riding on an ass, A colt the foal of an ass. VI. O tempora o mores! It is upon us now, The necessity of obedience. Now we must dance with each other Rather than at each other. Prodigium is the omen, a prophetic sign, It is marvelous in our eyes. It speaks forth, It manifests much. Let there be prodigality! The cup runneth over, The fatted calf is slain. It is as it ought to be. It is where it ought to be. It relates as it ought to. It is like God. It is apprehended rather than There is a natural body. There is a spiritual body. A seed body, this life is the wispy one. What we shall be is beyond our understanding (All we have is metaphor). Lord have mercy. VII. How is a verb defined if not by vigorous action? In principio erat Verbum, et Verbum erat apud Deum, et Deus erat Verbum. Hoc erat in principio apud Deum. In mundo erat, et mundus per ipsum factus est, et mundus eum non cognovit.
The deaf-mute is blind, The deaf-dumb is blind. Give us eyes for light. Et inclinato capite tradidit spiritum. Tradidit Spiritum. It is upon us now, The necessity of obedience. Now we must dance with each other Rather than at each other. Now we must be face to face. et alium Paraclitum dabit vobis, ut maneat vobiscum in aeternum Metaphor is all that we have, All that we have is metaphor.
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